Beginning to End
by LemmieJo
Summary: I wanted to protect him, he was the only thing, the only one I had loved in a long time. He made me whole. I was doing this for him. I'd never given much thought on how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I loved, seemed like the good way to go
1. Prologue

There were days when I wish it life would cease. There were days I wish my life would…begin. I lived in a world that no longer cared for me, and to be honest, I didn't really care for it either. It always brought the worst things into my life, and ended what was happy. My family once cared, deserted me, saying 'You need help, help that we aren't willing to pay for you to get. Time on your own should do.' They said it with no emotion. Back then, I was an emotional wreck. I begged, I tried to negotiate, but nothing worked. They left me. My friends, what little friends I had, helped me. They supported my decision to keep with school, and try to find a job. Then I broke. I shut down, and stopped speaking. They held me when I cried; they didn't flinch when I shouted awful words to them. But then one day, they left me also. Claiming I needed help just like my parents did. At first they were calm and thoughtful, but when I turned on them, screaming at them, they left. They didn't say goodbye, they didn't even speak. I didn't bother to call and say I was sorry. I was tired of saying sorry. I was lonely and never went outdoors to see the sun in Phoenix anymore. So I moved. With what was left of the internet I had, I researched areas with little sunlight and was there were few people. There were many suggestions on the computer about the Olympic Peninsula. I looked into it and found a perfect little town home, not really in the city of Forks, but not in the outlands either. The cottage was hidden in one line of trees, just barely visible from the highway, but not impossible. It took me no time in deciding, I packed what little belongings I had, and fled the hell out of that house. I took the car my parents had left and the vacation money that had failed to take with them. When I reached Forks, a sign welcomes me, '**Welcome to Forks, home to 3,157**' that was a good number, but not the worst. It was better than the 30 to 50,000 I was used to. I bought the cottage, enrolled myself in senior year at high school. I was 18 so they didn't pry why I was alone. It was the second day of the second semester; you weren't there the first day, but there the second. I had zoned out, trying to ignore the conversations around me. I didn't consider the people I sat with my friends, so when they got to annoying, I moved to sit alone, just staring at my untouched food. When I felt the seat next to me moved, I jumped suppressing a squeak. I was about to tell you off, but then I looked at you. I got lost in the deep rich honey eyes. The image is permanently etched into my human mind. You became my only friend. We grew closer and closer. You told me your secret and why you came to sit next to me at lunch that day, instead of your family. You let me meet them. Then we went to the baseball game. James and his coven showed up. I was finally starting to live again in your arms, and then I was ripped violently from them. They somehow knew my weakness. Knew how to draw me away from you and get me alone. I was James's singer, and he would kill you if you and me quicker if you came for me. That's why I'm writing this, to say goodbye to the best thing that has ever happened to me. You made my final days the happiest in my life. So right now, while you are reading this, I am making a silent plea that you will NOT go after him. That you will move on and be happy. I know I was your mate, but Edward is living without his also. You two are brothers and need to support each other. I know that my death will affect your everyday lives, and that it will never be the same again, but I will believe you will be happy again. I just know it. I feel it in my heart that was brought to life by you. And you still hold the key that unlocked it, in your hand, and will always. I love you with all my heart and soul. I will never forget you, whatever way I go. I never imagined dying like this, hell I never knew that vampires existed and that one will kill me. Promise with your heart and mine, that you will move. On. Don't sulk; don't become crabby like you do when you're thirsty. Please do not stop hunting. I left a note for Emmett also to, if he has to, to force you. And I know he will for me. Promise me.

'I'd never given much thought on how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love, seemed like the good way to go.'

Yours Truly,

Bella.

I froze. I didn't know how long I had been standing there before I felt a small hand on my shoulder, sorrow and helplessness surrounded me. It wasn't all my own.

I turned to see Alice, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

I didn't have to ask before she shook her head at my silent question.

She was gone. Her smile, her doe eyes, her warm skin, gone. The sound of her alive heart that I had unbroken, would never fill my heart or ears again. I lost the best thing that happened to me, and it was my entire fault. If I hadn't taken her to the clearing, none of this would've happened.

Anger and loss brought me to my knees, and for the first time in my immortal life, I dry sobbed. Letting Alice encircle my in her tiny arms. My sobbing must have been heard by the family, because they all came, and one by one, brought their arms around me also. Nobody talked, their emotions talked for them. Even Rosalie was feeling remorse and regret. She told me while Bella was missing, the reason why she was so cruel to her, and that she never hated her, she just hated her decision to be like us, willingly. She loved Bella like a sister.

Something in my mind silently snapped when I thought about James. Bella had told me not go after him, she made me promise. But that was a promise, I would not and could not keep.

Alice must've seen my decision, because she froze and tightened her hold on me, even knowing that I could easily get out, but did anyway.

"No, you have to promise. Not only to Bella, but to me and the family. We have already lost a sister, mate, and daughter; we do not need to lose brother and son. You, will, die, if you go after him now. You wouldn't think and just act out of instinct, and we all know that never gets us anywhere. You will get your vengeance on James one day Jasper, I saw that much, but when, I don't know. We just have to do what Bella says." He voice was soft yet firm, the sadness still evident in her voice.

I shrunk into everyone's arm even more. This couldn't be happening, but it was. My worst fears came true, and it was all, my, fault. Nobody could convince me that it wasn't.

A life without Bella, seemed like no life at all. The words she had written echoed in my mine.

'I'd never given much thought on how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love, seemed like the good way to go.'

She loved me. I loved her.

Now I just had to promise again to myself, for her, that I will move on. But I will never be whole or happy again.


	2. Chapter 1 Sentence

If I could ever get a headache, any day that something happens to irritate me, this would be the day. But today was different, I was more afraid for my life than getting a make-believe headache.

Normally I would just shake it off, not do much about it but maybe give Hannah a lecture on blending in and not doing to much damage on the human civilization. She would always turn it into a joke that made me temporarily forget what I was doing and have us both on the floor laughing. She has become such an irritation in my life, I can't even begin to wonder why I even agreed to travel across Italy with her. But she is only 14, she's still a child, so when I met her, I got to know her and became like a mother to her. A mother can not abandon it's child.

Her one flaw was, she does not know when to let things go. She is a stubborn as a mule. Of course, when she made a mess, well me and her, I am not completely innocent myself, some one saw, and word spread, but there was no evidence to prove it happened so it was disguarded quickly, but not before the Volturi found us. We were on out way back to the states, even as far as the airport parking lot, before two of their large guards came and got us. And that was putting in nicely.

So here we are, standing in front of the Volturi, without knowing what kind of punishment they would give us. The three brothers were holding hands and their heads were bowed in silent conversation. This was strange for both Hannah and I, so I touched her shoulder lightly mouthing, "Let me in."

_I__can__'__t__even__begin__to__think__what__Caius__or__Aro__will__come__up__with!_I mentally hissed, totally shocking Hannah. I had been calm and sweet just a second ago. Man if she knew.

_But__what__do__you__think?_ She turned her ruby eyes to mine, which matched hers. Her eyes were so innocent and there was a pleading look in her eyes that had me turning away from her, giving her the cold shoulder.

_I__don__'__t__know.__Someone__once__told__me,__that__they__don__'__t__take__things__lightly,__and__if__we__make__it__out__of__here__alive,__or__even__leave__at__all,__it__was__a__miracle._I spoke in a flat voice. Keeping my emotions hidden from my voice. I knew very well who had told me that, and I did not want to go down that road, but I did anyway.

He thought I was dead, so that's how I wanted to keep it. I couldn't look into his eyes and see that he has moved on like I told him while I was "dead". This was the best way, even if it was the hardest and killed me, it was the only way.

I quickly composed myself when I realized my hard expression was gone. I put it back on a waited for Hannah to reply.

_Who__told__you__that?__You__never__told__me__that__you__knew__anyone__before__your__change._Hannah questioned me, making me realize my mistake.

I gulped quietly and quickly blurted out, "Nothing, I'll tell you later, maybe."

The three brothers had broken and were now sitting in their thrones; almost every one was looking at me now. Probably thinking I was either crazy or they were just curious.

I just couldn't keep my mouth shut could I?

Aro smiled confused before standing up and walking swiftly over to me, not bothering to use his vampire speed. He seemed content on the more human way which just irritated me more. Yeah I get irritated often. He stopped a few feet in front of me and held his hand out expectantly.

"Bella may I?"

I cocked my head in genuine confusion. But then I quickly realized what he was saying. He had the power to read anyone's thoughts with the simplest of a touch. Just for a mere second, and you have not more secrets, and Aro wanted to know mine.

I was hesitant and cautious, not sure what to do, I mean, this man is a complete stranger, vampire ruler or not, I knew little to nothing about him.

"There's nothing you're hiding is there Isabella?" There was a tone in his voice that dared me to say something.

I sighed in defeat and all but shoved my hand into his awaiting one, just eager to get this over with. My past experiences, even the ones I wished I never had and remembered, were now his. I had no secrets, Hannah had no secrets, and she tells me everything. I feel like I let her down as my daughter. I was supposed to keep her secrets and never tell, just like a mother would. I am no mother to her now. Of course she was the one who got us into this in the first place, so this is on her also.

His head was still bowed in concentration, he didn't move, he didn't breath. His sharp intake of breath was what told us he heard.

His milky red eyes, aged over all the years he was alive, snapped open and he let go of my hand as if it were hot.

A grin slowly spread across his face like a child that had just gotten a puppy for Christmas and is just starting to come out of shock. This was not a good sign.

"Tsk tsk Isabella, I see we have much to discuss." He mused gliding back to his throne snapping his fingers.

The door behind us was bolted shut and guards covered all the exits in the room, making it impossible to get out. I couldn't believe he was going to force me! I knew he was a cruel son of a bitch, but I didn't know he was THIS bad. This is over the line. This is like being forced against your will, but this isn't like, it is.

I hissed warningly as some guards took a step in our way.

"Now, now Isabella, we aren't going to hurt you, but your power is going to be a great use to us, and you will not be leaving. This is too good of an opportunity." He chuckled.

Caius was the first one to pipe up, his voice flat and held some distaste, "Aro, care to explain?"

"Oh yes! Bella here has a wonderful ability. She can hear thoughts directed at her and with a touch can connect minds and speak freely. Wouldn't you think she would be great with our guard?" Aro cheered almost to himself clapping his hands in amusement.

No, this can NOT be happening; I have the right to be free. There may not be a vampire constitution but there needs to be one!

"Thanks for the offer, but me and Hannah really must going. We promise to be careful from now on and never hunt inside Volterra again."

I clutched Hannah arm and started to back up when we both ran into some of the guard.

"No, you wouldn't want your daughter to be harmed would you?" Arm had this wicked smile on his face that only belonged to the devil himself. I'm not a religious person at all, but this is hell here.

I know I shouldn't have, but I growled, "You wouldn't dare…"

That's all I got our before a small girl, no older than Hannah, stepped in front of us with an angelic smile. If it weren't for her place in the guard I wouldn't smiled right back at her. So right now she looked more Aro's devil daughter.

A few seconds later a guard held onto Hannah by her arms as she screamed violently. She was in pain, that girl in front of us was hurting MY DAUGHTER!

I had never been a normal newborn; I had control over my bloodlust and didn't have those mood swings. I never liked being a violent person. But somehow these recent events had taken a toll on my mental health, I felt like I was loosing more and more of my mind with each horrific ordeal.

"Stop!" I cried lunging for the petite girl in front of me.

I was able to tackle her to the ground before I to was tackled from the side, and I went flying into the far wall on the other side of the room. By now I was seething, all the training and newborn anger rising from the surface.

I and my attacker circled. He was easily two times bigger than me, reminding me a lot of Emmett. I froze for a mere second, giving the man an advantage which he gratefully took. I was pinned beneath him instantly. My struggles were feeble against his brute strength.

I had been thinking more and more of the Cullens lately. Weather I liked it or not. Everything reminded me of them. Honey colored trees reminded me of my almost father Carlisle. The sweet song of the birds reminded me of the way Esme used to sing me to sleep when I was staying with them overnight without Edward. The bears I hunted and picked on reminded me of the way Emmett used to come back to the Cullen house with his clothes shredded. Butterfly's that chased each other was Alice. The way she always seemed to fly and chase everyone giggling. Jasper was the marigold flower. They scared off mosquitoes. Jasper scares off humans. I never really got to know him, he didn't scare me, I was attracted to him, just curious, and then I grew to love him. He was my mate. Was, the word haunted me. BUt this is how it has to be.

The there was one, Edward. He reminded me of the many waterfalls I have seen in the past ten years. I no longer loved him like that anymore, but I still thought of him often. He was so peaceful and calm. No one thing could anger him, except when I was careless and tripped or when I put myself in anger. Instead of thinking he blamed me for attracting James; he blamed me for the incident with Jasper. "If you wouldn't be so careless, I wouldn't have to yell at you like this!" Thinking of those times made me loath him, despise every fiber in his being. He no longer held a place in my heart, not that he held one to begin with. I love Jasper now, more than anything I ever had. When I ran to meet James when he had my mother, and be away from him, that was the hardest thing I had ever done. But I kept him and the Cullen's alive. Well I wouldn't care if Edward died, but that ain't gonna happen.

I was brought out of my train of thoughts when I was jolted up and handled like a doll.

"Watch it," I hissed, "I am a person."

The guard holding me gave me a funny thought before having me stand before the three brothers.

Aro smiled but it didn't look good, "Isabella, I here by sentence you one hundred and fifty years of serving the guard. You will also serve the rest of your like. During the first one hundred fifty years, you will be staying in the castle, not even leaving to hunt; you will never go outside the castle under any circumstances. Do you understand why you are given these charges?"

I nodded my head reluctantly.

"I was originally only giving you a fifty year sentence but you attacked a guard member so that was an additional one hundred years." He added with a laugh, not seeming interested in me almost killing one of his guard. He just wanted my power.

"What about Hannah?" I almost didn't want to ask, I also didn't want to see him say it, so I closed my eyes and fell limp in defiance, in the man that was holding me arm's.

"Oh she's free to go." My eyes snapped open at Aro's light tone. He wasn't lying.

I let out a squeak as Hannah was dragged out of the room screaming.

I couldn't look at her so I just muttered, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible. By getting out of here, I mean go to my uh, room? I don't even know where I'm staying.

"Isabella, welcome to the guard."


	3. Chapter 2 Punishment on a Horrible Day

I didn't know what to do.

It's been two weeks since I was given a sentence from hell to serve under the rule of the Volturi. My life was miserable.

Nobody talked to me, and I didn't bother them. And Aro expected me to come to the ball in two weeks. If it weren't for the people he had, I would have refused, but he told Jane and Heidi, two people I absolutely despised, to force me into a dress and make me look presentable.

"None of those _denim and cotton _clothing that you have been wearing. None of that is lady material. I should've had your closet cleaned." He had scolded me.

I didn't care if he was the vampire ruler or not, I could say anything I wanted to because he wouldn't kill me. I was too _precious. _That was what he has been calling me. I got fed up with it one day last week and told him off.

"For God's, or in this case, for Devil's sake, my name is Bella! B E L L A! Not _precious_," I sneered the name.

Everyone was quite and frozen as I continued, "At least give me enough respect and call me how I want you to. You won't let me leave; you won't let me shop for my own clothes and pick who I want to eat for my next meal. So for the love of Christ, call me Bella!" I toke a breath, "I am not precious to anyone, I don't give a shit about anyone in here. I am being held here against my will and I am fed up. I should be living my own life and not having to deal with a bunch of nosy people breathing down my neck. I am a person, not a pet. I have feeling, I have intelligence, which you people seem to think I do not have. And last of all, I have a power. This power has gotten me here, and I am not afraid to use it. But I do know that if I do, I want to use it for the right reason, not waist it on a bunch of people who don't deserve it. You need more punishment than an unannounced and peaceful death."

I was seething by the end of my rampage that I just stormed out of the throne room, forgetting the Aro had wanted to speak to me. To hell with him, if he wanted to speak to me so badly, he would consider thinking about what I just said and then come and talk to me. Wasting his time, not mine.

He did consider what I had said, but not after punishing me. 'It was for your own good.' He said just before locking me in my room, vampire proof lock. That was a new one.

I wasn't allowed to hunt until I apologies. And sure as heck wasn't going to do that. One characteristic that stayed with me from my human personality was that I was stubborn as a mule. Nobody could move me once I was settled. I was dead set on not apologizing and that's how it was going to be.

Felix, who had been the only one nice to me, since I arrived in this god for saken place. Yeah sure, he was the one who was sent out to capture me and Hannah, but he was too much like Emmett for me to hold a grudge. Though it's been two weeks since I've seen him, I've talked to him. He had slid a tiny silver cell phone through the crack of the door. We talked every night he was _busy._ Heidi reminded me so much of the bitch. Rosalie never did like me. I never liked her.

Felix was growing on me, even though I haven't spoken, spoken to him, I still feel a strong connection with him. He was my brother now. My only family.

The tiny phone buzzed at my side and I had it to my ear with a pained smile on my face.

"Hello." My voice was strained due to the lack of blood in my system.

Thirst can't kill a vampire, but it sure does hurt. It's like someone was shoving a hot branding iron down and on my throat, the inside to the outside. It hurt.

"Hey Bella," Felix's concerned voice flooded through the small speaker at the top of the phone, his Italian accent thick, "How you doing?"

A strangled laugh came from my throat, "Oh just dandy. Just seeing how long the brothers can do without me."

The pain and starchiness of my throat made me want to cough, but that just worsens it.

"You know I can always sneak you at cup." He pleaded.

"No, that's out of the option. I will not let you get in trouble trying to take care of me. That's how I got here in the first place. I was taking care of my thirst and went to far."

It was half true, I hate when people take care of me, and I only killed all those people was because it had been a week and my throat was on fire. And Hannah just so happened to be thirsty too so yeah.

Felix let out a long sigh before rubbing his head. I may not be able to see, but I can hear. But all my senses were faded due to the lack of blood.

"You know this is just as hard on me as it is you. What you said was true about Aro, but he took it the wrong way, and is lashing out on you."

"Yeah." I squeaked.

"Got to go, someone's coming." I said quickly hanging up the phone.

Light airy footsteps were outside my door in a few seconds. The footsteps were recognizable. The one person that could burn in pyre for all I care.

"Isabella," he made sure to use my real name just to annoy me, "It's been two weeks dear, we have a few humans waiting in the mess hall for you."

He wanted me to apologize. That was NEVER going to happen.

"Go…to hell…Aro." I managed out, the sting in my throat burned hotter as the mention of humans.

Blood was what I wanted, but I didn't need at the moment. It was sever but bearable. To an extent.

An exasperated sigh came and went as Aro walked back away from my door.

For the first time since ten years ago, I felt tired, emotionally and physically. I knew I wasn't able to fall asleep, but the lethargy felt door.

I stumbled to my bed which was neatly made since I had never really used it. It was decorated in soft yet dark colors. Purples and blacks were among that variety of colors. They went overboard and put what, fifteen pillows at the head of the queen sized bed. I just flung them off except for three. To the lay one, one to snuggle with.

I did that when I was human, so why not?

I closed my eyes letting the burn in my throat relax but not go away and let myself into my bed and curled into a fetal ball under the covers. Keeping my eyes closed I let my mind drift off.

Images of the Cullen's, Hannah, and my human family flooded. Charlie singing happy birthday to me when I was 16, the Cullen's singing to me on my birthday. Jacob wishing me happy birthday but not singing.

Jacob, this was the first time in ten years I had thought about him and it made me feel terrible. Ever since I got to know the Cullens, he had always been third. Cullens first, Charlie second, and Jacob third. I rarely saw him in my two years of living in Forks.

The pains from these memories were more painful that my searing throat and I wanted desperately to escape it. My phone buzzed again but I didn't answer it. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. This wasn't how I ever acted, but right now that was all I could do. I was weak and helpless. And I could do nothing about it because of my stupid pigheadedness.

I dry sobbed only making the air that came in and out of my lungs more painful, but I didn't care. The pain in my throat was less painful as the one in my heart.

Maybe I should have gone straight back to Jasper when I had woken up. Not thinking was what I was doing at the time. I let the pain of others get in the way of my own. If I went back, they would hate me knowing that I told them in my letter I was dead and never to return. If I stayed away it would eat me alive because being away from you mate is painful, add a family, and it's horrible. But I'd rather cause myself pain instead of them.

Opened my eyes to see the sun just rising I whispered to myself, "Happy birthday to me."


	4. Authors NoteIMPORTANT READ

A/N

Okay heres the scoop. I know that my chapter are short and have some errors with them but work with me here. Not trying to be rude but I haven't been in the best of moods in the past couple days. I will be trying to upload every chance I get but I need reviews to know that if I write well and If I should continue. SO heres a challenge. If I don't get 10 reviews in the next week, I will stop posting until I do get 10 reviews. I don't want to be mean but I need to know, k?

Thanks luv ya'll! -Lemmie


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